Confessions of a Group Fitness Instructor

I've been at this for a really long time. With the exception of a 2 year hiatus while I worked full time (read 50 hour weeks), I have been teaching fitness classes since 1996. I know. I'm old. I've taught (and continue to teach): step, hi/lo (yea, that used to be a thing), PiYo, Turbokick, BodyPump, BodyFlow, bootcamp, pilates, interval based HIT classes, and a plethora of cutesy named classes big name gyms like to put on their schedules; things like: Butts and Guts, HAT (hips, abs, thighs... groan), Calorie Crusher, Minute Madness, Death by Sweat (just kidding on that one). But you get the idea. I teach between 5-8 classes a week.

So, after 16 years of teaching, here are a few confessions:

#1 

I am insecure about my body, and probably always will be.

#2

I have cellulite. (This may or may not have anything to do with #1.)

#3

I get paid to work out. Crazy.

#4

There actually is magic in the mic. Even on the crappiest of days, once you strap on the mic, you get a little jolt of energy. You just know -- even though you have a headache, or your knee hurts, or you're mid-way through a panic attack concerning fill-in-the-blank, or you didn't sleep a wink the night before, or you forgot to eat breakfast, or whatever -- once you strap on that mic, you're gonna get through the class just fine. When the mic doesn't work, often nothing does.

#5

I hate to speak in public. It's one thing to stand in front of a roomful of tank-top-clad gym rats, but if you told me I had to give a speech to real people... I can't do it. Just kill me now.

#6

I always try to practice every routine for every class in my basement an hour earlier. And I am always just a teeny tiny bit nervous. This is a good thing. It means I am always usually prepared and never -- umm rarely -- only occasionally walk in and teach a class by the seat of my pants. 

#7 

It drives me crazy when people in the front row shoot me dagger eyes. If you don't like my class, don't take it. Or at least glare at me from the back of the room. Also, if you choose to make up your own moves (and we're not talking modifications - I totally support, offer, and encourage modifications) but if you really just want to make up stuff and do your own thing, you should do that from the back of the room, rather than the front row.

#8

Even though I just smile, I also hate can't stand when you talk on the phone, answer email, text, talk long and loudly to your neighbor, or check your make-up in the front mirror DURING the class. I mean, that's just rude.

#9
Bootcamp means I can do whatever the heck I want. 

#10 

I cringe when, in a social setting, someone asks me what I do. And sometimes I just make something up: I'm developing a hybrid multi vitamin and sunscreen supplement. No, not really. But I have a theory: as soon as I say what I do, that person's silent response in their head goes like this: You're a fitness instructor? But you have cellulite.

Next time I get asked this question in a social setting, I'd love to have the nerve to answer...

Okay, so I've spilled my guts. Tell me some of the things that drive you crazy about fitness instructors.